The Headlines Today

Saucy sees dear friend off to the gallows!

I spent yesterday morning at the courthouse in Bandra, watching a friend sign away her future. And I thought to myself, there you go...Another one bites the dust!!!

Well, no matter how appealing this marriage (gallows) humor is, I shall refrain from it. I am truly happy for her and for the others who call me at 2 in the morning to inform me of their upcoming nuptials. I'm sure it's an exciting time in their life. They're in love, they've found someone they can tolerate on a 'forever' basis, and hopefully (more like, Better be!) the sex is good enough. Aren't those the 3 basic essentials for a good marriage anyway? Though when I think about it...the being- married-to-one-person-for-the-rest-of-your-life thing is both daunting and appealing. Appealing, because it definitely is a romantic notion. To have found the one person you can actually see beside you at the rather difficult age of 85, building a life and a family with this one person, sharing 'your' life and dreams with this person, and most appealing is the fact that this damn person is YOURS as much as you are theirs. It's the sweetest possession. And don't we all love that feeling?! Marriage, a more 'legal' form of a relationship, is appealing because you know you will not be lonely for a very very long time to come; whether it's love galore or daily arguments, you're not alone.

On the other hand, marriage is daunting as hell. Promising to love and cherish ONE person for the rest of your life...come on! If that's not daunting, what is?! The only people you can happily and relentlessly love, are your parents and siblings, and that is more or less a natural phenomenon. Once you're married, you have to consider this other person's opinion before you make most of your decisions. You can hardly take care of your shit, now you have to start taking care of theirs. You've, pretty much, spent your entire life getting what you want, when you want; but now you have to do the most annoying thing ever...Compromise! When you fight your own battles, you only think- Strategy and survival. Now with this extra person in the fray, you have to think Strategy, Survival and making sure this other person doesn't pop it(ie. Saving if required). Because their popping it, would hinder your survival...because you now depend on this person. There goes your independence, down the drain! And honestly, we all do love and lust after independence. As a friend rightly put it,"Well, marriage is damn scary, because I love my independence!" But she is willing to admit that if she found a man who she could get along with, without wanting to kill him, then maybe she would give it a THOUGHT.

To add to all that, the parental units, aunts and uncles, grandpas and grandmas are like eager little puppies impatiently waiting for us to tie the proverbial knot. The dreadful 'arranged marriage' comes into play here. It would be best to leave that argument for another day. It's endearing how parents are always so concerned about your well being, but marriage seems to be a rather sore point between parents and offsprings. Specially for us girls; parents seem to think that the older we get, the chances of us finding a suitable partner, become lesser. And once again my friend Priyanka defiantly proclaimed to her Mum, "I don't need the institution of marriage to validate my existence and worth". You go girl! But I guess we should keep in mind that most of our parents insist on marriage because they don't want us to end up as lonely old cat ladies. At least that's what they believe. And thus, the age old argument between parents and their offsprings will continue.

As most of you know, I'm a die hard romantic and I would happily jump on to the marriage-ship provided I found that silly bloke who would make my heart flutter, make me laugh till I peed my pants and gave me butterflies in the stomach even when we're old and gray. I'm obviously optimistic enough to believe that that is even possible. I guess for me, marriage is like a quest. I can see it...me and the silly bloke on a rickety little boat, in the middle of the ocean, battling sea creatures, manuevering through rough tides, enjoying a little sunshine on the horizon and making sweet love under the protective blanket of stars. Wishful thinking? Perhaps! But we here at the Lair of the Saucy Minx, encourage lots and lots of day dreaming.

So I guess, the consensus is: Marriage is scary, but it's exhilirating. It's ideal, but not necessary or compulsory. It's romantic, but the romance is almost always temporary. It's the next step, but by no means a determination of love. It's an institution (thus man-made), not a law of nature. That is the other 'M'...mating. And we've never needed marriage for mating, have we?!

DISCLAIMER: These are the (obviously) confused ramblings of a bored and jobless 25 year old.