A nasty thing called Love

Love is not patient, love is not kind. It does envy, it does boast, it is proud. It can be rude, it is self-seeking, it is very easily angered, it definitely keeps record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth but also likes to twist it. It always protects (too much perhaps- read: possessive), always trusts (not), always hopes, always perseveres (yeah, right!).

I'm not being cynical or anything. I am one of those hopeless romantics, in case you've forgotten. But this is what love is like. All the clichés prove it. For example, 'Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies'. Now just imagine that...that's a real pain in the ass. It's like sharing your room with your sibling; and we all know how annoying that can get. Perhaps that is the reason divorce rates skyrocket every year. Or, 'You only hurt the one you love'. Just peachy! You'd think, falling in love would solve a lot of your problems. But darlin', don't be naive! Love is the problem. Aerosmith said it best, "Falling in love is so hard on the knees." With all that falling, begging, proposing; the knees are bound to suffer, along with that poor, foolish heart.

History shows how destructive love can be. Paris' greedy "love" for Helen resulted in the destruction of Troy. Romeo and Juliet showed us how foolish and impatient love is. If Romeo had only waited a few minutes before stabbing himself oh-so-brutally with his knife, he would've had the pleasure of loving Juliet for the rest of his life. Silly, impatient love! Just today in fact, there's an article about a 53 year old man in Glasgow found guilty of killing his wife, whom he had married for the SECOND time, just seven months before he stabbed her cruelly. The reason: he was jealous of his wife's friendship with her former lover. Angry, unkind, envious, possessive and non trusting love! Hmph!

Love, my friends, is a battlefield. You can only come out broken, battered and bruised. You set yourself up for your own destruction. You open your heart to this stupid person, who enters your stupid life and sweeps you off your wobbly feet, with a kiss or some pretty words. Love is fickle; so beware, the itinerary is prone to changing. One minute you're soaking up the sun in Miami, and in the next you find yourself floating above the Bermuda triangle. Lost. There's no way around it. If you want to fall in love, you've got to go through the motions. C'est la fuckin vie!

But don't you worry...when Love rips you apart, your friends will stitch you up. "Friends are like condoms. They protect you when things get hard". And boy, do they get rock hard! They'll pacify you and remind you that there are plenty of fish in the sea (not that I've ever understood what fish have to do with my irreparably broken heart). They'll tell you that you're too good for the evil person who broke your heart (what a solid ego boost!). They'll hand out the tissues and bring out the beer. They'll make you laugh and convince you to never give up on love. Don't mind them. They haven't been where you've been. Or if they have, they're just as convinced as you are that Love will save them one day. But, when you have your friends, you'll never be alone. So if you insist on getting on the roller coaster called love, make sure you've got a friend riding along.