The Last Singlette

"Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colours. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving."
- Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

I came back! It took more than 2 years to come back here, but I did. And boy do I hope you'll see me a little differently. Perhaps a little wiser? Let's hope. The last two years have been a bittersweet cocktail topped with lemony sunshine and a rainbow coloured stirrer. It started with where I left you last, remember the steak and the heartbreak? Yes, so the man who involuntarily caused that heartbreak turned out to be the muse of my epic journey through the charming cities of Europe that slowly but completely mended my foolish heart. Europe is a must for every soul. I covered 8 countries and 26 cities in a span of 3 months, and it clearly wasn't enough because I found myself bawling like a candy-less toddler at the airport in Berlin and on the flight home. It was spectacular and I wish I had written my blog, as I travelled from place to place, but of course I didn't get the time between sharing khakra with strangers in a carpool and finding silly French men to lose my common sense to.
So I'm afraid my Europe stories will only be known by a precious few for now. Or perhaps one day they'll be compiled in a book called 'The Adventures of the Saucy Minx'. We'll just have to wait and see. But for now I shall regale you with stories from my journey to Singapore and Cambodia. Most of you know me well enough to know that I cannot be in one place for too long. So after I returned from Bombay where I was working on a horror film with the coolest bunch of people, I had the itch to spend all the money I had just earned on another crazy adventure somewhere new. Singapore wasn't ever my first choice for a crazy adventure but since I've been promising my best friend Natameanie every year for the past seven, that I would visit her, I decided the time had finally come. Also, Davey Jones is about to go down the marriage road, so we thought this would be the perfect time for what was dubbed as The Last Singlette.

Singapore is so sterile it reminds me of the dentist's. And very plastic. Even the greenery seems a little fake. Singaporean money is plastic too. At first that put me off, but at the end of my trip when I found my US dollars a little torn and worn out and my Singapore dollars looking as fresh as a baby's bottom I saw the value of having plastic money. Though, if you had to read an autobiography of a currency note, you'd believe the US dollar had way more adventures than the Singaporean dollar. But that would be typically human, to judge based on looks. I digress, as usual. So in my opinion the must see and do things are:
Singapore Art Museum (SAM),
Bugis, (have the milkmaid coffee at the other side of the Bugis shopping street),
eat Kai-lan wherever possible,
party at Ku De Ta (ladies- go on a wednesday, it's free entry and you get 1 complimentary drink and shots if you can fight for them) and then eat at Spize,
take a walk around Clarke Quay and Boat Quay with a fabulous friend,
watch the fifteen minute water and light show at the bay (there are BUBBLES too!!) and then walk across to the Gardens by the Bay for the cool Avatar-like pods,
try Ais Kacang- dessert like you've never had it before,
and finally go check out the graffiti at Haji Lane.
There are lots of great restaurants (I hear) in Singapore that you can try, if you shit gold every morning, so make sure you have your Kai-lan everyday since it has great digestive properties (according to Davey Jones).
Those who love amusement parks should definitely go to Universal Studios. It's a $74 entry, but it's good fun. For me it was the most stressful day I've had in the longest time. Every ride had a 60 min (minimum) waiting so all I did while we waited was freak myself out and then shut my eyes during most of the 3 minute ride. I enjoyed the 20 min Shrek 4D movie the most, and surprisingly also the Jurassic Park water ride. [Ride Spoiler Alert] Here's a tip for the ladies and some gents who hate getting photos wrong- during the water ride at the Jurassic Park, at one point the pod you're sitting in, is elevated and almost shoved into the mouth of a T-Rex. At this point most of us would scream and look quite disastrous, but please remember that when the T rex opens his mouth to roar at you, there's a camera taking photos of you discreetly. Make sure to smile and smile like you mean it! Natameanie warned us of this, so the end result was quite hilarious because you can see we're shitting our pants but smiling through it all. We ended our day at Universal with a bag of Garrett's popcorn, which is apparently the pride of Chicago, but definitely the best damn caramel popcorn I've ever had.
The rest of my time in Singapore was spent on Baby Mellow's couch watching Netflix. It was equally memorable.
Singapore grows on you, and can be a lot of fun provided you have friends and if you don't have friends, at least make sure you've got the money.

PS: For all those who use Tinder, it would benefit you to get a sim card in Singapore because there's lot of Tindering (or whatever the word for that is) to be done.

                                                                       AIS KACANG

                                                       COFFEE WITH MILKMAID

                                                       VIEW FROM KUDETA

                                                       YUMMY GARRETT'S POPCORN

                                                                 EXHIBIT AT SAM

Stay tuned for Cambodia. x

Love and Steak Voronoff

It's been two hours and six whole days

Since you took your love away

I talk to friends all night and sleep all day

since you took your love away...

...nothing can take away these blues

'cause nothing compares

Nothing compares to you...

EXCEPT

...Steak Voronoff and a belgian chocolate shake.

Hell yeah! Food definitely has magical properties. Who knew all I had to do to heal a very broken heart was to make a trip to Big Chill Cafe!

When I ordered my steak I was a sad little puppy reminiscing the good times gone. Even riding the metro made me miserable because it reminded me of things. I mean come on...something as basic as riding the bloody metro! It's amazing how phenomenally sappy you get when you're in love. Anything and everything reminds me of him. To be honest, it's furiously frustrating that my brain has been completely hijacked by this man and it's tremendously tiring thinking about him all the time. But since love is pain and I do misery so well, I just strap in and ride the roller coaster. Anyway, so after walking around Delhi in the hot scorching sun on a completely empty stomach I finally walked into the Big Chill Cafe and ordered myself the Steak Voronoff.

This is how it was described: tenderloin fillet steak in a vodka and brandy cream sauce. Sounds divine doesn't it? And divine it was! Along with it came buttered vegetables, the most delicious baked potato and some brown bread. The first bite seduced my taste buds and my mind was blank...just like that. And the last bite was purely orgasmic. I think the trick was having this meal by myself, because there were no disturbances, no unnecessary conversation- just me and my steak. The happiest love story ever.

Then came the Belgian chocolate shake. The first sip and my eyes rolled back into my head in utter satisfaction. My lips were glued to that straw and yet it was the longest I took to drink a shake.

I don't know if the food really was that phenomenal or if I was so heartbroken that I needed it and therefore enjoyed it so much. Either way, it worked, like magic. From a love sick, lost puppy, I was a happy little puppy wagging my tail deliriously. If only relationships between lovers would be as simple as the relationship between a human being and food.

At the moment, a little piece of cheesecake heaven ( bailey's irish cream cheesecake) is sitting in my fridge, waiting for the appropriate moment to be devoured by yours truly. I'm putting it off till the next moment my broken heart starts bleating like a sick goat. And once the cheesecake is gone baby gone, I'll just have to go with the motions till the next Steak Voronoff, or perhaps a glass of wine with my special ladies back home.

But I'll tell you a secret...it's good to be in love, especially when it's with someone so fuckin extraordinary- that even if you can't have that person, you're still so glad you met them, and loved them and made memories (that will never have an expiry date) with them... and nothing, NOTHING can compare to that feeling.

To my Prity boy!

Another year. Another birthday. Time flows. I still miss you.

Every year on this day, I invariably go back to that table at the Barista near Sterling and replay the conversations we had. While we sipped on our coffee, we'd discuss the exciting gossip from Hyderabad, reminisce our days in Vidyaranya and dream of the days to come and the promises the future held, and mostly we'd laugh...a lot!

You were an excellent friend, a great support system and a bundle of love while we were in school. And the gods know how much we needed that back in that crazy school with the crazy melodrama. Those were good days though, weren't they?! Most of the time, at least. The parties, the lunches, the sneak-smoking, the bitching sessions, the growing up- I remember you through it all.

But there are still times, that I have to try hard to remember things we did together, and I battle my weak memory to bring to surface all the memories with you in them. It's like a hungry person trying to eat all they can so they don't have to go another day without food. But I know that even if the memories are lost, the one thing I'll never forget is YOU, and the person you were and the happiness you brought me.

You were a star, an amazing friend, a brilliant chef (even though I didn't get to sample your food, I heard a lot about it), and full of promise. I love you, and miss you, and always will.

Happy Birthday Pritish.

We are all made of Stars!

It's been five months and I can still remember how I felt on the last day of 2010. I was hopeful, a bit anxious, still a romantic, still the dreamer, and determined to be happy. 2011 held a lot of promise...and it hasn't let me down (knocking furiously on every available wooden surface).

I now have random people all over India hearing my voice on their phones. I have a new musical partner who writes while I sing. I am now good at something new- and can get jobs as a Radio Mic Technician (ahem!) I have made new fantastic friends who I love to the core. And I've successfully fallen in love as well (it's another story that I might have to fall out of it soon).

It's been a good five months, full of new experiences, love, laughter and fun.

It's been a week and a half since I got back from my month long shoot in Madhya Pradesh. The lull and boredom is almost unbearable, which is shocking, because those who know me know that I can be cooped up in my room for days and not get bored.

Waking up at 4.30 am, on my feet till 7.30, and in bed by 10.30 was something I've never done before. And what a rush that was. I was living on adrenaline that entire month. Even though the sun was unbearable, and we all fell sick at some point, even then there was something in the running around and getting the job done. And with a job like mine, really, who would complain. There I was, getting up-close-and-personal with the actors. Micing actors is one of the coolest jobs I've ever done. All I can keep thinking right now is...Who would've thought I'd be micing Josh-fuckin-hartnett one day. I mean...here is a man I crushed on all through my teenage years. Who would've thought?!!! And ever since I can remember I've wanted to be part of a period film...and there you go, did that as well! It's bizarre how things happen, and happen when you really really need them to happen.

I learnt so much, had the best of teachers who were kind and patient and encouraging. I met people who I now call friends, who are some of the most fantastic, interesting, fun people I've ever met. I found another soul sista who I can pour my soul out to. I partied at the fort, and gorged on the best bloody mary ever! I saw true movie magic in the making, and now every time I watch a movie I can imagine where the camera is and how it's moving. I realized the importance of sunscreen and hats. I have a new found respect for hard work and people who indulge in hard work on a regular basis. And my faith in having dreams has been reinforced even more. I left a piece of my heart on that shoot and with that crew. It was my first movie, and it's an experience I'll cherish for as long as I will live.

All that I can hope for now is that I get an opportunity like this again and again and again. I want to meet more people, I want to fall in love a little more (you see, no matter how much I complain about that crazy little thing called love, I can't help but be in love!), I want to learn lots more, I want to see more and feel more, and I want to BE more.

Goodbye and Hello!

"...she ran across the field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.

In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.
The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself falling down a very deep well."

As I bid adieu to 2010; the year that clawed at my heart, brought me my heart's materialistic desires, gave me experiences that I have longed for, and thrust me in a seat on the fastest roller coaster I have ever been on; I can only hope that 2011 takes me on a journey to my very own Wonderland.

And to all of you, may this new year bring you monumental amounts of Love, Lust and Luck.

I'll be seeing you in 2011. And I have an inkling, I'll be coming back with more posts to entertain all you lovely people.

Love, love and MORE.

Yours Always,

Saucy Minx.

Red

I was just wondering why Love is associated with the colour red.

Then it occurred to me that red is the colour of the apple.

Apples way go back in time, before we even had words; back when a garbled sound coming out of the mouths of one of our ancestors was construed as communication. And we all know the story of the infamous snake, the tempting apple and the two happily 'naked' humans. A lot of things happened in that tale.

The snake tempted the beautiful and voluptuous Eve to take a bite of the apple from the tree of knowledge. I'm sure he tried Adam first, but our favourite perfectly chiseled alpha male refused and instead nudged his counterpart, therefore successfully playing his part in the 'temptation', just so that he would avoid any consequences of that 'oh-so-life-altering' bite. But Eve, the ultimate woman, didn't need much convincing. She has always been curious by nature, and courageous too, and a little too trusting for her own good. She gave in to the temptation and took one delicious juicy bite. And she fell. She fell. And being the more intelligent species, decided to take Adam with her. Smart move girlfriend!

Love...is that apple. Temptation followed by the fall. Thus the colour red. It all kinda fits. If we go by history, once Adam and Eve had the apple, they became conscious of themselves and that was the birth of the 'intimate parts' and the dire need for the fig leafs. It's also around that time, that they actually checked each other out and LUST was created. Fornication followed swiftly thereafter. Kind of reminds you of love, doesn't it? 'Fall' in love and make some love.

I've also noticed, just like Eve, women are easily tempted, especially by love. Still more trusting, and curious and courageous. And it always takes a man to take his own sweet time to make sense of anything that has recently taken place, and thus painfully slow at catching up with all the Love business. But let's not stereotype here...even though mostly that's how that ball rolls.

So I'd like to believe, that's how Love got it's colour.

In the next blog, maybe we can explore how Red became Angry.

Felix Felicis

Yesterday was apparently the luckiest day of the century. Couples ran off to get married so they could have a happy and 'lucky' marriage. Women scheduled C sections to bring their bundles of joy into this world so that they could be the 'luckiest' sonsuvbeeches on the planet. And lots of guys proposed to their girlfriends, hoping their luck would bring them a squealing "Oh my God, yes, yes a million times yes!!" And I...sat at home, with a friend and made a list of all the things we wanted to do, hoping that this day's luck would sprinkle some of it's magic on this list and all the things on this said list would actually happen. Guess now that the lucky day is over, we can only sit back and watch the magic takes its course.

It's a matter of believing, after all, isn't it? And belief is one of those things that can never be constant. Our beliefs change everyday, and we aren't even aware of it most of the time. When my friend walked into my house, and I told her about this 'luckiest day' dribble, we both laughed about it and asked, "who actually believes in this crap?" A few minutes later, after we dissected our lives and realized how nothing was going the way we wanted it to, we decided that maybe all we need is a little luck. A tiny little vial of felix felicis. By the time we finished writing that list, the both of us were feeling lighter, happier, hopeful and dare I say so, lucky!

This is why I find the human race completely fascinating. We always find a way to make ourselves feel better; at least most of us do. We lose our jobs, and drown our sorrows in alcohol and a good friend's company, behave like total morons and wake up with a hangover, and yet find that all is right with the world again. We break up with our lovers, and go on a little rebound ride. We feel lost and confused, and make lists, plans and promises. And we find doors to temporary happiness. A few days later, we're back to being miserable and the cycle starts all over again. And that's what makes me realize that even the most cynical of us are hopeful, a wee bit optimistic and just looking for happiness.

We do make the choices and ultimately make our own destiny, but a lucky penny never did any harm. If anything, having that lucky penny in your pocket would probably give you the courage to make the choice you are petrified of making. And in the end when you are basking in the glory of that right choice, you remember the lucky penny, or you don't, but it did serve it's purpose.

Luck, I think, is just one of the emotions. Like happiness, anger, jealousy, passion, love, apprehension and fear, luck is something we feel, we anticipate and we act on. I, for one, feel abso-fuckin-lutely lucky right now, because the first thing on my lucky list written on the luckiest day of the century was 'Write Blog', and I've done it! After months of having nothing to write about, of having no motivation, of just watching every day go by, I have finally written. And I feel like I'm high on some good ol' felix felicis!!